Do these 5 things when you fight with your partner

Conflict in the household is common. However, the fight must be faced by both partners properly so that household harmony is maintained. Overcoming household problems needs to be done calmly. The goal is that the fight does not heat up and drag on. Moreover, arguing with emotion also has a negative impact on health.

Things You Must Do when Fighting

To avoid protracted arguments that end in argument, you are advised to do the following when facing problems with a partner:

1. Start with praise

Starting a conversation with a positive sentence tends to be better than starting with a sentence full of anger. It might be difficult for you to praise your partner's strengths when you're angry, but believe me, this can have a better effect. For example if you don't like your spouse often returning late at night because of work, you can express how proud you are to have a partner who is a hard worker. However, also reveal to him that you are worried about his health condition. Tell your partner that your family at home also needs attention from him. After that, say carefully that you want him to go home immediately if nothing really matters after office hours are over.

2. Say it with a soft tone or intonation

The tone or tone of voice when arguing is very determining the direction of contention. If during a fight you speak in a high tone, then the atmosphere will become more heated. The possibility for your words to be heard by them also tends to be smaller. If your partner is speaking in a high tone, try to still respond in a calm voice. Lowering the volume is considered to make people more focused on discussing the topic of the problem. Conversely, a loud voice can make people emotional just by hearing that tone.

3. Avoid resolving problems when you are tired

Some couples choose to insist on solving problems before going to sleep. But according to some experts, delaying problem solving until you and your partner have had enough rest will actually be better. The reason is because after resting, you and your partner will be calmer. Your mind and your partner are also clearer, so they are better able to solve problems without creating new conflicts. Not only that, lack of sleep can also make conflicts difficult to resolve. So, let your physical and mental condition be fresh before discussing the problem that occurred.

4. Try to say more specific things

Avoid using the word always or never, because both give the impression of generalization. In fact, not necessarily couples always do that. It would be better if you are specific in expressing your desires. For example, when a partner is too busy with work, say that you appreciate his hard work but you also miss spending time alone with him. This sentence is more specific and certainly more effective, than you say that he never has time for family.

5. Give a touch to the couple

When fighting, try to give your partner a touch, such as holding his hand or hugging him, then see his reaction. According to one study, touch can reduce stress levels and have a calming effect. Touch also often can solve problems when the things above do not succeed in having a positive effect. Couples who fight when facing conflicts in the household are common. However, remember to deal with fights in the right way, so as not to disturb household harmony. If the conflict does not end, you and your partner can do marriage counseling with a counselor or psychologist who specializes in handling relationships in the household.